Celebration in absentia

It's hard to believe I have not blogged since October of 2007 but I have been a very busy camper. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the Southern Belle had a milestone birthday and, in true Southern Belle style, I had to "do it up" right. The birthday was in January and the planning, coupled with the Thanksgiving and Christmas holiday celebrations took up my writing time. But never fear, I have LOTS to share with you. Hopefully you will agree it was worth the wait. Events are shared in chronological order.

I just want to say thanks to all of you who have written, called and e-mailed demanding an update. You have turned a Belle's head.

Now, onto my first journal entry... the

"In absentia" Birthday Celebration

My small group at church is comprised of some of the craziest ladies I ever had the privilege of associating with. Many of them are Aunts so, yes, they spend a lot of time in the basement, but their families allow them to attend all church functions. (Reference Ross Perot's "crazy aunt in the basement" comment here) . And they celebrate EVERYTHING. The favorite is the birthday celebration.

The traditional "suthern" potluck is held at someones home or the honoree chooses a local restaurant for all of us to gather. I must admit, of late, we have been doing more home gathering since the last restaurant incident caused some stir. It just so happens that restaurant incident was my in absentia birthday celebration.

During November, December and January I had been traveling quite a bit for business and pleasure and my church ladies got tired of waiting to celebrate my birthday. There is just so much you can ask of a person and waiting on a celebration is just over the top. They decided to take matters into their own hands and celebrate without me.

They gathered at the local Olive Garden, setup a chair (with a coat hanging on the back) in my honor and proceeded to party. They ate, laughed and had a grand time. However, I do believe the alarms probably began to go off with the restaurant management when they began to take group photos with the chair.

I can only report what has been reported to me since (as you will recall) I was absent, but word on the street is there were stares, pointing and lots of whispering and the waitress began to hurriedly distribute the bill and collect money to hasten the church ladies departure. The entire incident has been documented photographically and multiple copies have been distributed.

I certainly hope this evidence cannot be used in the upcoming mental incapacitation hearings.