Not quite what I had in mind

God has a sense of humor.  No surprise since He is the creator of all things that He would also create humor and use it.  Sometimes, though, I think He saves testing his really big jokes on me.

As I neared 60, the “spare tire” began to increase in size.  Couple this with a high cholesterol reading (always been in the almost too low range) and you have the making of a not too good old woman.  I am active but needed to step up my game.  My motivation was sparse so I prayed for God to help me with the problem and provide a solution to my weight loss.  I was thinking He would give me a taste for Weight Watchers Food, free Nutrisystem meals or restore my knees so I could run again.  It also occurred to me he could just have me wake up pounds lighter with no work at all.  I go to bed overweight and wake up svelte. That kind of thing.

Instead, God sent me a dog.






I have been the owner of 2 cats (actually 2 sets of 2 cats) for over 20 years.  They travel with us, are independent, use the litter box and easy to manage.  Except for the demand for treats and food at 6 am, they have been lovely pets.  The dog, on the other hand, has disrupted the household (and me) in ways you cannot imagine.

1. He has to be walked. Several times a day.  We live in a zero lot line home with no yard and also travel extensively in an RV.  The dog has to be walked for exercise and my husband has a bad back which precludes him from walking long distances so guess who has to walk the dog.  Me.
2. The dog has to be walked early in the am.  No more lounging in my jammies drinking coffee until noon.  Nope, it’s feet hit the floor, brush teeth, throw on walking clothes and walk the dog.  I don’t even get a sip of Coffee!!
3. The dog has to be walked late morning and it has to be a long walk to calm him down.  He is still a puppy weighing 42 pounds.  When that wound up energy comes at you ... well.... it’s good to keep him exhausted.
4. The dog has to be walked in the afternoon.  The dog likes treats.  The dog responds to training with treats so I have to walk him for extra exercise so he doesn’t get any heavier than 42 pounds.  We don’t need a 60 pound lap dog.  (Did I mention the dog thinks he is a Chihuahua?)
5. The dog has to be walked before bedtime to prohibit being rudely awaken to a wet nose in my face or howling in the middle of the night.  He takes great pride in being housebroken.

I am not sure if it is the 10,000 steps per day or the profuse sweating that occurs during my walks that has started the weight loss but a few pounds have been shed, I am sleeping like a baby and my stress seems to be less.  

God has a sense of humor but he also knows what we need when we need it.  Even if we don’t.

Losing Alaska

*** May 11, 2006 -- Evening

I told my family the house was on fire so they would run out in the yard and leave me alone so I could count my boxes. Unloaded everything into neat little piles... breakfast, lunch, dinner and dessert. Heavens to Betsy - I ordered an awful lot of Peanut Butter cookies and PoppySeed muffins. Small controversy erupted when I discovered we had no room in the pantry to store 35 days of perfectly packaged little meals. My husband had the audicity to suggest I put them BACK IN THE BOX and put them in the garage. Horrors! What the heck was he thinking. This is the diet that let's you have chocolate. Does he have no shame. These precious packets need to be handled with care. After all, this is my only nourishment for the next 35 days and everyone knows you don't get between a fat girl and her cookies.

*** May 11, 2006

I have received "The Box." NutriBuddy received hers yesterday so I was prepared. It was sitting so very patiently on my porch waiting on me to drag it in so I could count various boxes marked breakfast, lunch and dinner to ensure I got my free week. Almost got a hernia dragging the thing in. IT WAS HEAVY!
But, thanks to my NutriBuddy's expert advice, I was saved from dialing that 800 number on the yellow sticker (it was very enticing) and listening to some thin chick make me depressed because she had lost 500 pounds in 2 weeks just by looking at the boxes of food.
"Just think what would happen if you actually did the system...." She says in a breathy porn-star voice.
But, alas, my son had an emergency (computer couldn't connect to the internet... God forbid!) so the counting was interrupted. However, I did read everything in the packet contained inside including the mind bending information on psyching yourself out and making a list putting yourself as a priority (do you think he was watching me last night when I stopped counting to assist my son?). Started my morning with a cup of black coffee. I believe in starting new things slowly.
Last night I binged with a decadent dessert at a fine dining restaurant, ate a MCDONALD'S sausage and biscuit this a.m. and then routed my fat little legs to the Old Venice Pizza cafe to load up on pasta for lunch. Yes, I'm having my last supper(s) before I start the program. I anticipate a trip to the grocery to buy the dairy, fruits and other assorted stuff to complement my cardboard meals this weekend. All in preparation for a Monday start. The big weigh-in will be Sunday night (after my glass(es) of wine of course so my senses will be somewhat dulled).
Reminded my NutriBuddy to take her "before" shot yet? "Remember, one straight on and one from the side!

***** Saturday May 6, 2006

I've decided to reduce the fluff. The deciding factor was a glimpse of my behind while walking on the beach (not in a bathing suit thank goodness!) and realizing it had blanked out the sun. In other words, the size of Alaska. Not good. So, I am participating in a popular weight loss system that let's you eat chocolate. You've seen the commercial -- "Any diet that lets me eat chocolate is the diet for me!" Got me hook, line and sinker - and credit card. Luckily I will not go down this road alone. My friend's sister (more about that relationship and how it evolved later) ordered her magic box right before I did. We've decided to be NutriBuddies and give each other moral support.