However, Husband Unit is not so sure he is ready for his reprieve from having his wife's ditzy doings emblazoned in Cyberspace so let's keep these stories to ourselves for awhile shall we?
For the most part, this post will only be understood and appreciated by women, however, I have recently been informed men are now utilizing those stretchy undergarments called Spanx. Who would have thought! It was this new tidbit of info that prompted me to publish my "best practice" list. Especially if you double spank (replace k with an x).
1. Those little buggers are TIGHT. If you are going to use them, do not be vain and try to squeeze into a size smaller than you wear. The people selling these undergarments already know you have rolls of fat you are trying to disguise so buy that extra large if you need it.
2. Make sure someone else is at home at the time you will be removing these contraptions from your body. I did not adhere to this rule and had to sleep with one half-way pulled over my head. Luckily I was able to wiggle around enough to get my nose poked out so I could breathe.
3. If you wear the "camisole", it holds in your stomach really well. It also holds in your boobies. You will not only have a flatt(er)stomach but also a flat chest.
4. I read somewhere that Gayle King wears double Spanx. I tried it. It hurts. My underwire bra almost had to be surgically removed. I also had to take really, really short breaths and could not sit down but I was several inches smaller all over. Haven't figured out where the extra "fluff" was hiding in the Spanx cuz it sure flopped out when I got the things off.
Hope these little tidbits help you as you prepare for that next Class Reunion. Me, call me chicken but I am afraid there will be a weak spot in my Spanx and I will explode in front of everyone. No thanks! I want to be remembered as the girl who still has her sparkling personality instead of the one who took out half of the class with her underwear.
