FLAT! I've entered the FLAT phase early! None of my girlfriends who are older than me entered this phase of life prior to their mid-50's. This is NOT fair.
For those of you not familiar with this phase of a gal's life let me explain. After wearing years of wearing 4"+ high heels your feet begin to wear out. The bones in your feet slip in the wrong place, the bottom of your feet begin to hurt and you get nose bleeds. I made up the nose bleed part but you get the picture. Things begin to fall apart. Feet are not made to maintain a 90 degree angle for 12 hours and maintain a forward motion while criss crossing to ensure the hips sway at the appropriate angle. After years of this abuse you must resort to wearing flats. If you don't, then you typically have surgery which is even more embarrassing. I am afraid my feet have reached the flat stage early.
And I HATE flats. I love my 5" hussy red high heels. I love my 4.34" high heel gold sandals. I have a sign in my closet that says: "One shoe can change a woman's life." (A quote from Cinderella.) I love shoes! No matter how much weight you gain or lose your shoe size never changes.
And now all of those lovely high heels will have to be abandoned for.... I can't even write it.... FLATS! I might as well go ahead and let my hair turn completely gray (another prematurity in my life) since I'll look like a granny anyway.
And the whole thing just causes a snowball effect. First, there are certain skirts that just look poopy with flats so they have to go. Then there are pants that are too long for flats so you have to visit the alterations lady to have them hemmed. Not to mention all of the lovely heels that you have to move to that new room you have your husband build on as a memorial to your "cute" days. You put your high heels and tiny short skirts on charming displays in this little room. You spend a few hours each week sitting among your abandoned heels and clothes remembering the glory days.
I'm trying to make the best of this but, quite frankly, I"m not managing the whole process very well. Even the promise of knowing I'll have an empty closet to fill with new shoes and pants and skirts that go with flats just doesn't seem to be helping. Tune in later....
