Thoughts on Aging

This is a departure from the usual Southern Belle Blog post. I am aging. I don't like it. I don't like seeing people I love age and get sick.

That was cathartic to get that thought out into cyberspace. Much like an alcoholic standing up to admit their problem in a public meeting, I felt the need to admit my issues with growing older. Please do not tell me there is nothing I can do about it, that I need to embrace it and live life to it's fullest and all of the other cliches that come to your tongue in response. I am having a moment and just need to dwell deep inside it for a little while. Thank you.

People tell me I do not look my age. That is flattering and I do appreciate their kindness but the fact is I have a hard time getting out of bed with the aches and pains that have suddenly come to live in my bones. I find I have to think a little bit longer to remember something simple and I always keep a notepad in my purse for jotting down things I cannot afford to forget. Where did the time go! My son is over 30, my grandchildren are growing up and my parents and in-laws are beginning to need me more than I need them.

Lastly, I have thoughts of so much time lost. So many people I have not met, have not touched in some way and the many dreams that will be left unfulfilled. Please do not get me wrong, I have been richly blessed and, perhaps, that is the key to this issue. I love my life so much I cannot bear the thought of leaving it behind. Even though, as a Christian, I realize heaven is going to be wonderful I am not ready to leave what I have come to love... my home, my family, my husband, my friends and life.

So, thank you for allowing me to have this little moment of anxiety.  Tomorrow is another day.  Looking forward to the sunrise.