I have to admit, 2010 has not been my favorite year. Upon review, my lack of blog posts seem to reflect the tumultuous year I lived. Family is the most important part of my life (only superseded by my relationship with God) and there have been many, heart breaking days for our family this year including the death of my beloved Dad on December 1. He left a big hole not only in my life but in the lives of many others. With this said, I wanted to post the tribute I read to my Dad during his funeral. I also want to publicly thank my cousins Richard, Danny and Cliff for also providing wonderful eulogies that set the tone for my Dad's life to be celebrated and not mourned. Perhaps with this post I can turn the corner on this healing adventure and get back to life as I will know it without my Dad. Happy New Year ... and thank you for allowing me to share this tribute with you.
"You are never ready for this day are you? Losing a parent has to be one of the hardest moments life has to give you. I have a new appreciation now and believe no one understands the pain and frustration unless you have lived through it. At least I didn't. So I want to thank each of you attending today who have come to pay tribute to my Dad. Mother and I have been so comforted by our family, friends and neighbors. We simply would not have made it through the last several weeks without your prayers, support, calls, text messages, Facebook posts and e-mails. Our hearts are full of gratitude for your kindness.
I need to say a special thank you to my Mom for her devotion to my Dad. They were married for 55 years and gave me a healthy and dedicated model of marriage. Mom's sacrifices over the last several weeks while she cared for my Dad have been amazing. It was his wish to be at home until the end and Mom made it her mission to honor that wish. For that, I thank her from the bottom of my heart.
I learned so much from my Dad. First and foremost, he instilled in me the importance of family. He was our bedrock, wise counselor and leader. He spread his love among all of us – daughter, wife, sister, sister-in-law, nephews, nieces and grand nieces and nephews. He made each of us feel special. My Dad and my Mother sacrificed to pay for private school and to assist me with college. Sacrifices that I will never be able to repay but were and are now appreciated. An entrepreneur of the grandest kind he has often been described as a man that could "sell the horns off of a billy goat." I inherited that entrepreneurial spirit and being his daughter instilled in me a confidence in trying new business ventures.
My Dad was a mechanic, grocery store owner, and used car salesman (he always had a "cream puff" or a “jewel” on the lot with low mileage). All ventures started without the help of private equity firms or loans or complex business plans and always profitable. During the time he and Mother owned "Burch's Grocery" in Williston, a plethora of items sat by the door with a for sale sign, waiting on the right buyer with the right amount of cash. I don't remember anything going unsold and nothing was ever sold without a profit.
I also like to think I inherited my sense of humor and story telling from my Dad. He could make the most mundane activity into a side splitting, tears pouring down your eyes from laughing so hard tale. Even during his illness he kept his sense of humor. When Mother told him he would be transported from the Somerville ER to Baptist East via helicopter he responded – “I’m not so sure about that.” When the hospital wing nurse arrived and began to do her assessment she asked Dad how old he was. Without hesitation and confidence in his voice he responded “I’m 42.” When I gently reminded him he could not be 42 as I was 52 he responded “Hush Child!” When the Hospital Wing staff began to load him into the air ambulance, he told the helicopter pilot (and I quote) "Move over. I believe I would like to try and fly this thing." We are grateful the helicopter pilot graciously refused his offer.
He also entertained family members and friends who came by the hospital with tales of he and Mother rolling around in the flower bed. "I walked outside and your Mamma was rolling around in the flower bed like rubber ball. You should have seen the conflabaration she had gotten herself into. Got down in the flower bed and couldn't get up. I got behind her to help her stand up but she had to try and help and pushed with her legs. I went down, your Mamma landed on top of me, the table with the flower pots went all over your Mamma. Pots and flowers was flying everywhere. When I got up , I looked around to make sure none of the neighbors saw us rolling around. No telling what they would have thought we were doing." I must let you know I did not learn of this incident until he was in the hospital. Lying in the hospital bed looking so pitiful, he summoned me to his side and as I leaned close he stated – “Did I tell you about Mamma and me rolling around in the flower bed?” Since he had been somewhat delirious with fever, I panicked and replied – “Daddy, I don’t believe I need to know that level of detail about you and Mom.” Oh how I will miss those stories.
I learned how to care for those less fortunate from my Dad. When I was about 12 years old, a couple with a small child moved to Williston. They had suffered some financial setbacks and were working hard to survive. When Dad found out they were not going to be able to provide Christmas gifts for their little girl, he and Mom moved into action and gave them toys for Santa Claus to leave under the tree. That act of kindness touched my soul. I also remember when serving as a Deputy Sheriff he had to remove an abused child from her home. Even though the child was filthy dirty, Dad took her into his arms and carried her to the squad car. He then gave her a piece of gum and talked quietly to her assuring her everything was going to be alright. I thank him for teaching me to serve others.
Finally, I learned public service from Dad. He always served his county and town with a smile and a sense of duty. During his life he served as a volunteer Deputy Sheriff, was the first Fire Chief for the Williston Fire Department (which was all volunteer) and a member of the Fayette County Rescue Squad (also volunteer). He served on the Fayette County Public Works board for 8 years before accepting a full-time post with the Public Works Department. He also worked for the Fayette County Board of Education overseeing the fleet of school buses that transported hundreds of kids to public schools.
I have been one lucky daughter to have been raised by a Dad that gave me and others so much. These last 6 days have been an emotional roller coaster, full of anguish and heartbreak but I am truly grateful to God I had time to express my love to him before he passed. I couldn't have had a better Dad and encourage any of you here today to take advantage of every minute you can spare to cherish your parents. You can never get them back once they are gone."
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