Saturday, December 13, 2014

The Southern Belle who stole Christmas

I am depressed


It happens every year at this time and you think I would have learned by now.  It's almost unimaginable that I would fall into this same cycle of despair every year but, yet, as if on queue, I waltz right into the heavy sigh, I am not worthy, just bury me in the backyard because I am too worthless to live attitude.  So, you ask, what in the world is triggering this depth of despair?  All of those dadgum magazines that arrive in November and December with photos of pretty Christmas trees hovering over perfectly tied bows on presents that are color coordinated with the 12 dozen Christmas cookies in the silver tray positioned perfectly beside the cocoa (with homemade marshmallow of course) on the coffee table.  I take one look and think "I can do that!!"

Every year I make lots of lists in my head of cute projects I will complete, complicated desserts I will prepare, holiday soirees I will host with my well groomed and perfectly dressed husband by my side - smiling as we greet national dignitaries who have dropped in for a visit.  My family will receive the absolute perfect gift that they did not even realize they needed but is now essential to their being.  Oh the greatness!!!  Martha Stewart will ask me to be a special guest on her show to demonstrate my technique for preparing standing rib roast while wearing an evening gown.  Yes, it could be spectacular.

But here is the reality.  I work full-time and most days it's a struggle to get a decent meal on the table.  I give my time to non-profit organizations and do a lot of community service projects so my time is limited.  When I wrap a gift (that has most always been ordered online) there are bumps and lumps and the bow comes from the dollar store and was extracted from the bag of 4 dozen with different colors.  Sometimes I get lucky and the bow color coordinates with the paper I have used but most of the time it doesn't.  Gift bags are my saving grace and I grab dozens every time I walk by the aisle at Target or Dollar Tree to stifle my fear of running out.  I have not decorated a Christmas Tree in 5 years and love my sweet Son for always hosting the opening of presents at his home so the bumpy, lumpy gifts and bags can be under a tree for a few minutes.  I have good intentions but life just seems to get in the way.

So, here is to all of the other women who are just like me, hanging their head in shame during December because you feel unworthy to have hormones.  Buck up gals.  Our kids turn out just fine, our husbands are happy and our hugs are just as wonderful as the lady in the neighborhood who vacuums her floor while wearing pearls.  Don't know about you but I am boycotting Pinterest until the madness is over.

Now excuse me while I explain to my husband why the poinsettas have died....  πŸ‘€

Cheryl

PS:  I don't forget the real reason for the season. 

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