Saturday, August 04, 2012

Unplugged and Frazzled

Spoiler alert... This story does not end happily. I was a raving lunatic without my technology. No text messages, no Facebook, no Twitter, no email. And unlike some of those other folks you read about that "found themselves" when they unplugged, I didn't. I am firmly entrenched in the digital world and love it.   "My name is Cheryl and I am a geek!". There I have admitted it to the world.  

The annual trip to Michigan for July 4th started like any other. I packed my work computer, IPad and phone ensuring I had all of the correct cables and power cords. Clothes are never my biggest worry but I will flat come unglued if I don't have my cable to sync my IPod. In fact, on this trip I sacrificed a bit by not packing my IPod. Thought I would rough it a bit without my multiple gigabytes of music readily available. After all, I had Pandora and Spotify and IHeartRadio on my phone. Checked my easy tether to ensure I could use it as an on ramp to the Internet because Husband Unit's Aunt did not have Internet access at her home. Another sacrifice to make for the good of family unity but I'm a good sport and knew I could survive.

 Off we go to the North Country obviously oblivious to the fact the entire Northeast had been blown off the power grid due to storms. And I am also a weather geek! How embarrassing. My first foreshadowing of trouble happened when we had to drive an extra 4 hours our first day due to every hotel room in 3 states being occupied by families without power. No Hampton Inn, Holiday Inn... Heck I couldn't even get a spot on the lobby floor of the Motel 6. We finally ended up securing the last room available in Ohio, Kentucky or Michigan by football tackling a young man walking in the door of a Quality Inn and grabbing the door keys from the frightened desk clerk's face. He was already shell shocked from the activity so when this frazzled Southern Belle with no makeup left on her face came barreling toward him, he just froze and threw up his hands. Smart guy.  

We rested and headed the rest of the way to our final destination when I started noting I was unable to send text messages. My email was sporadic as well. By the time we arrived at our final destination, I was foaming at the mouth just a bit. If we had no text message capability, the chances of communication with our son were slim to none. We stopped verbal communication with him several years ago. I rolled around scenarios in my mind and concluded I could fire up one of those little text apps you can download and all would be well. That was when I discovered all data access was disabled during the storm.  Foaming at the mouth increased.

Husband Unit immediately assessed the situation and called the family together to formulate a plan.  "I've seen her in a technology snit before so this could get dangerous.  I will go ahead and use the tranquilizer gun to prohibit anyone getting hurt.  That usually lasts for severals hours which gives me time to come up with a long range plan".   You can insert a big blank here because I do not remember anything for the next 24 hours.   However, when the drugs wore off and my mind cleared I was on the haunt for an unsecured router to get some type of access.  Surely there was someone living in the nearest town that had not fully read their installation instructions and left their router unsecured.  If it was within the next 5 counties, I was finding it.

I piled Husband Unit in the car and commanded him to DRIVE! while I clutched my IPad and phone in my hands desperately searching for access of any type.  We briefly achieved 1 bar of connectivity which allowed me to assess the McDonalds 5 miles away had free Internet access.  I was saved!!!  Eureka!!!

The next morning I woke up at dawn, grabbed all of my geek tools and headed to Micky D's.  Life was going to get back to normal.  Facebook here I come!!!  I strolled into that McDonalds loaded down with my plethora of electronic devices, ordered an Egg McMuffin, hash browns and 120 ounce sweet tea, settled into a booth and hooked up.  I had just started reading my emails when I noted I was surrounded by farmers gathering for their coffee and story time.  Not another woman in the place except for the counter crew.  No problem, I can manage that but then I noted this huge, very black and very suspicious cloud out of the window followed by high winds.  My weather alert went off and I realized I was about to be in a compromising position with a lot of farmers.  There was a tornado headed our way so my mind began to race imagining me, 30 male farmers and the McDonalds staff locked up in the cooler for days after the tornado took out the town.

Stay tuned for the rest of the story...


Out of the box tips for surviving the week.

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